Harry Potter and The Chocolate Frog of Fate
by notsoginger
Summary: Harry is sitting minding his own business on his first train ride to Hogwarts. While trying and failing to open and eat a chocolate frog, he finds himself staring at his own picture.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, hey look. I am disclaiming. Take note. I don't own one bit of this, 'kay?**

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Harry Potter was a normal boy. Well, as normal as you can be with a rather visible scar, a pair of hideously round glasses and a white owl named Hedwig. Yes, he was _perfectly_ normal. And Harry "Normal" Potter was sitting on the train to Hogwarts for the first time. He was a tad nervous seeing as he had had no friends at his old school, for Dudley had scared them all away, and was sitting on the train anxiously waiting for someone to show up. When Ron did, he was delighted to have someone to talk to. This part of the story is well known. But soon it would all go awry.

A while later, the nice lady with the candy came by.

"Anything you want, dears?" she asked.

"Yes," said Harry. "I would like a little of everything."

For the next half an hour, Ron and Harry made their way through piles and piles of candy. Harry reached for his first Chocolate Frog. He opened it, and because he was not expecting for the frog to jump, he lost his treat to the open airs of the countryside. He looked down at the card, and was jolted by seeing a very familiar pair of green eyes looking back at him.

He, Harry Potter, was looking at himself. Sure, he looked older but it was still him.

"It worked! Must tell Hermione."

"What the…?"Harry muttered, looking at his own face staring impatiently at him.

"It took you long enough."

"But…but…you're me!" Harry brilliantly deduced.

"Yes, yes. Its nice to meet you. Now, please let me get to the point." The real Harry nodded mutely.

"You are about to begin you schooling at Hogwarts. Make sure you listen to your teachers. Make as little enemies as you can. Except that bloody git Malfoy. Hate him all you want. Oh, and try to become better friends with Luna Lovegood. She is a very good person, while rather interesting at times. Crazy to think that she was right about the Snorkacks."

"Who? _What?_"

"Luna, now shut up and listen to me. See, I'm you, and I want to make sure you do it right this time."

"This time?"

"Yeah. It's kinda hard to explain." The picture Harry ran his hands through his already messed up hair. "But basically, this isn't the first time Harry Potter has existed on this Earth. Oh by the way, is Ron there?"

"Yeah…I am," said a very confused looking Ron.

"Hey, mate!" said the older Harry.

"Hey?" Ron raised an eyebrow in Real Harry's direction. Real Harry merely shrugged in response.

"All right, well I have to go now. Bye, then!"

"Wait, no! I'm so confused. Why are you here? Come back!"

But the picture had already disappeared from the card.

"S'pose you should keep that card, mate," said Ron, already back to stuffing his face with candy.

"Yeah, I suppose I should." Harry was very confused. What a long, curious week it had been.

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Author's Note: Hoped you liked it, folks. Made me giggle. :)


	2. Chapter 2

"Well, _that_ was weird," Ron said, stepping up the steps to Hogwarts castle."Just a wee bit," Harry replied, trying to dry the rain from his coat. It had been nice weather for the entire train ride, but had started pouring the instant that he had gotten out of the train. It had not made the boat ride to the school any more enjoyable.

Harry and Ron were standing with the other first years in the Entrance Hall, waiting for what would happen next. Some boy named Neville had just lost his toad, and in the chaos that ensued, a rather pale, blonde boy had come up to them. They were in the middle of a conversation.

"I can help you there," the boy, who had introduced himself as Draco Malfoy, said.

"I think I can decide the right sort for myself, thanks," Harry said.

Somewhere deep within his pocket, he heard a chuckle. "That's my…self!" the voice said.

The boy sneered and walked away in a huff, apparently not hearing this strange laughter that had come from no apparent source.

At the same time, the great double doors opened and an elderly lady with hair tight in a bun stepped through.

"First years, listen." She proceeded to explain about school rules and the system of houses. At this point Malfoy gave a pompous nod to two rather large fellows standing on either side of him, as though he knew which house he would get.

Finally she turned and walked into the Great Hall, and the students hesitantly followed her, no one wanting to be first. The Sorting Hat was brought out on an old three-legged stool, and students were called one by one.

Harry waited patiently as the other students were called. He took notice of a girl with particularly bushy brown hair who had talked to them once on the train. Her name had been long and unusual, and Harry wasn't sure if he quite remembered it. Hermonenee, Herniome. Something of the sort.

Finally, "Potter, Harry" was called, and a hush fell over the crowd. He went and sat on the stool, mortified, excited, and scared all at once. "Not Slytherin, not Slytherin…"

After a lifetime, the hat shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!" Cheers sprang up, and Harry went to join his house table. Many students later, Ron joined him as a new Gryffindor. Many other people with the same red hair and freckles greeted him and congratulated him.

"Nice one," two twin boys with red hair said at once, punching Ron on the shoulder.

He noticed the girl with bushy brown hair sitting opposite him and Ron, and at the same time as this wonderful observation, his pocket started talking again. "Oi!" it said. "Talk to Hermione, it's much easier than waiting to be killed by a troll."

"_What_?" Harry said, confused. Several people looked up at him at once, wondering why he had just asked himself a question.

"Just do it, talk to Hermione." _Oh, _that's_ her name!" Harry thought._

When Harry still hesitated, his pocket suddenly moved violently, and Harry knew that the odd person inside the card was banging on the edge of the card to get his attention. Determined to ignore it, Harry remained silent and tried to disregard the banging in his pocket. This proved futile, though, when a particularly violent thrash almost sent the card flying out of his pocket.

Flailing his arms wildly to keep it in, Harry suddenly said, "Oi, Hermione!" to make the card hush up. She looked up questioningly, and Harry, still flustered, said, "Er…pass…that…empty goblet, please."

"Don't you have your own? Just there?" she said, pointing and raising her eyebrows.

"Oh. Erm, yes. Sorry," Harry answered, as Hermione turned and started talking to the girl next to her with a strange look.

The card in his pocket rustled, and a voice said, "Oh yes, very smooth."

Suddenly, the Great Hall turned completely silent, and Harry whipped around, wondering what was happening. He saw a rather old man in brilliant blue robes and half-moon spectacles standing at the podium pleasantly.

"That's Dumbledore. He's a pleasant man, though a bit off his rocker," Ron leaned over and told him.

"I just have a few words before we begin our feast," the pleasant old man that was off his rocker said, and the silence was completely absolute. "Nitwit, blubber, oddment, tweak. Thank you."

Harry's pocket chuckled, and people all around looked at him, as it was still very silent, even though Dumbledore had sat down.

As the food flooded the tables, sound erupted as though a hoard of angry elephants had been let into the Great Hall. Harry took this opportunity to take the chocolate frog card out of his pocket, and, under the pretense of dropping his fork, whispered, "Quiet down, will you? You're confusing people. Well, actually, you're confusing _me_. But hush up."

Putting the card back and digging into his turkey and stuffing, Harry had a revelation: steak-and-kidney pie was disturbing, and he looked down upon anyone who ate it.

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Author's Note: More later, chums. :)


	3. Chapter 3

They were in the dormitory, and it was very late. Harry and Ron were determined to get some answers. All night, a strange voice had been heard coming from the region of Harry's pocket. They wanted to know _why._

"Now, you. Uh, me. Harry? Whoever you are. Explain. What is going on?" Harry was so confused. He figured that being told he was a wizard and was going to attend a school for magic would be the weirdest thing to happen to him.

The card sighed. "I knew you wouldn't settle for a vague answer. You _are_ me, after all. Well the simplest way to put it is that you fail."

"Excuse me? That isn't a very nice thing to say." Harry was outraged that he would call himself a failure.

"No, no. You fail at your mission. Voldemort? You know, saving the world. Well, you don't, but you will. And I'm here to ensure that you don't screw up again. Sorry, kid but that's the best answer I can give you." The face in the card looked tired. "Okay, so how about this. I won't bother you. If you ever find yourself in a confusing situation, and you don't know what to do, just ask me. And I'll help."

Harry had no problem with this; he just wanted to make sure of one thing. "And don't talk out loud anymore, all right? I'm getting enough attention as it is. I don't need it being made worse by a strange disembodied voice that only I can hear."

The card smiled knowingly. "You'll be getting enough of that next year."

"What?"

"Never mind. Sure, I won't talk in public anymore. Now, go to bed. You have classes in the morning."

"All right, fine."

And with one final perplexed look at Ron, Harry closed his eyes and entered dream land.

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Author's Note: Review, please. I'll be happy. :)


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